Alzheimer's - Not What You See On TV

Caring for my mother  has been incredibly difficult - there's no denying that.  Yet, her Alzheimer's has not been what you see on tv or in the movies.  Ten years after the diagnosis she's not a frantic, wild-eyed woman in her nightgown pacing the halls of a grim institution.  She's not a dazed wanderer shuffling down suburban streets in the dark of night,  and she doesn't have that blank stare that fails to recognize a single family member. I had expected that images like these foretold my mother's certain future.

The reality has been quite different - so far.  Mama recognizes all of her loved ones and some new friends.  She does not wander, and her anxiety level is low.  She is capable of "normal", simple conversation.  She laughs at "I Love Lucy" - mostly the slapstick parts, not the subtle jokes.  She is mindful of her appearance, always wanting to be "fixed up" before going out.  She sleeps well at night.  She is generally very polite, saying all of the "right" things when introduced to people and thanking them for their kindness. She seems content.

My experience with this disease is limited to extensive care giving for one person and the observation of relatives and friends.  I cannot draw global conclusions, nor give false hope, about why my mother hasn't exhibited some of the more troubling and publicized behaviors of Alzheimer's patients.  Maybe it's because she has never left familiar surroundings or been long separated from those who love and respect her the most.  It could be that talking about "old times" with family members who know the context has kept her more connected.  Or, maybe appealing home-cooked meals and long-term caregivers have made a difference.

 I don't want to paint too rosy a picture  - our family lives with Mama's unbending resistance to help with personal care, her daily arguments about taking pills, and her determination that she doesn't need assistance when walking. I do want to suggest that each Alzheimer's patient may have an individualized response to the disease that does not conform to stereotypes.   Perhaps family caregivers should let that response unfold over time and figure out, each step of the way, "What does it take now for this particular person to remain safe and calm."