Elder Care - At Home or Not?

This is what experience has taught me - you may have to temper your expectations of assisted living and nursing facilities.  They may not measure up to an idealized image of one-on-one, personalized home care. That imagined standard is unrealistic in a large group setting.

If you are a son or daughter whose aging parent experiences a fall, serious illness, or diagnosis of dementia, you may find yourself, for the first time, scrambling to find caregiver help.  Your image of good care is likely to be based on impressions, as you help Dad choose a facility for rehab or long-term living.  Unless you've done a lot of research in advance, you will rely on what common sense tells you -  it looks good, the building is well-kept, the staff seems competent and attentive. You'll ask obvious questions, reach a level of comfort,  and, Dad will move in.

You may notice that a few things fall through the cracks.  This can be disconcerting and stressful.  Favorite clothes are misplaced;  the battery on his bed alarm fails;  Dad isn't prompted to drink enough liquids to stay well hydrated.  Don't overreact. Ask yourself - Is this a singular event, or a trend?  Is the overall care experience above average?  Are isolated lapses primarily inconvenient, or do they seriously threaten well being?

If the group care setting is your family's choice, set reasonable expectations and value it for what it can provide . Develop a strategy for making the most of your parent's new home.  Visit frequently and get to know the staff.  Enlist family members to check in routinely. Engage a private caregiver for a few hours a week, if your budget allows.  Establish free-flowing, two-way communication with the staff.  Inform them of what's special about Dad - his personal history, personality traits, and preferences.  Be alert to risks like dehydration, which is common as a person ages and the sensation of thirst wanes.  Watch out for confusion and loss of cognitive ability that can signal bladder infections.  Remember that you are the indispensable member of Dad's care team.