A friend's 90 year old mother recently fell in her apartment. She suffered cuts and bruises. She was moved to the rehab section of her continuing care community so that her healing could be closely supervised. When my friend, who lives in another state, visited, she was surprised that her mother was getting services that she didn't need.
An occupational therapist was laboring to teach my friend's mother how to put on her shoes. This was baffling because she has debilitating arthritis in her hands and has been unable to manipulate shoes onto her feet for years. An aide in her normal residence is assigned to help her with this specific activity each morning.
Another therapist had spent hours during the week teaching my friend's mother to get safely into and out of a bath tub. No one had advised the therapist that the assisted living facility where the mother lived had no tubs anywhere on the premises. The visiting daughter finally explained. For some reason, the mother had not "spoken up".
These two episodes are painful reminders of the importance of family-caregiver communication. They demonstrate that there is no substitute, in elder care settings, for the continuing involvement of a loving family member. That person can communicate important information about the patient when the older person cannot articulate it. Professionals deliver better quality care when they know of an individual's preferences, personality traits, and medical history - and they want to know!
Don't think that you are relieving yourself of all responsibility, when your parent moves to an assisted living, group home, or nursing care facility. Your "casual visitor" routine can have terrible consequences if changes in the older person's "normal" behavior go unnoticed. The care of your loved one is a team effort, and you are a key member of the team. Professional caregivers are skilled and well-intended - but they are not mind readers.
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