Are there some people who just don't listen to you? Sometimes, in the health care environment it seems difficult to get a doctor's full attention. With the best intentions, they assume they know what a person is going to say and interrupt to give the most likely answer. It's human nature to take shortcuts with the goal of making communication more efficient. On the receiving end of these shortcuts, however, the reaction can be "This person isn't listening to me and doesn't care about me."
There's more to an effective conversation than an exchange of facts. In the health care setting, the emotional state of patients and families also should be a key element - Are they confused? Are they confident in the physician and staff? What are their fears, their expectations? A doctor who understands how someone feels as well as how their medical condition should be treated, can respond with a patient-centered approach that reduces anxiety and conflict in the long term.
If you want doctors and staff to listen to you, consider these suggestions:
1. Listen to them. This sounds backwards - but it works! The reason people don't listen to you can be that they don't feel heard. Devote some effort to paraphrasing their part of the conversation. Use phrases like "It sounds like you're saying . . .", "What I'm hearing from you is . . .". This is a powerful technique that truly improves attitude and willingness to listen.
2. Be clear and concise in what you say. Rambling off the subject is an invitation for your listener to exit the conversation.
3. Assert your goal for the conversation and contrast what you're not trying to do - "I am trying to learn from you what may lie ahead for my mother. I'm not trying to take up too much of your time."
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