Saturday, March 9, 2013

Soft Landing At Elder Parent's End of Life

What does it mean to have a "soft landing" at the end of life? I think of it as freedom from avoidable injuries, illnesses, emotional upheavals, and anxiety. What contributes to calm and contentment in someone's last years? Here are several factors that help to smooth the journey:

1. Caregivers Who Care - It is painfully obvious when a caregiver is not working from the heart. Basic safety, sanitation, nourishment and physical needs may be met, but little energy is spent on truly engaging the individual. To maximize quality of life - at any age - is a worthwhile goal. People whose social outreach is declining, benefit from caregivers who bring a positive outlook and genuine concern.

2. Someone who links to the past - When short-term memory disappears, the middle and distant past can still be vivid for someone with dementia. It is my mother's childhood, young womanhood and early marriage that she and I talk about. Our time together would otherwise be much more silent and awkward. Family members who visit regularly, scrapbooks, and music link her to reality and a sense of normalcy.

3. Respect - Being treated as an individual, not as a stereotype, is critical to one's well-being at any age. Too often, a person who has lived a long life is dismissed and devalued by those who encounter them. I have heard the refrain "Well, she has already lived a long life" as a frequent excuse for not giving the best treatment or best care. Show respect by keeping up a person's physical appearance; maintaining a fresh, clean living space; and taking outings as appropriate. The humanity of a person doesn't disappear just because of age.




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